Mark VS Forum Smartarses 0 comments

This is just a general shout out to those of you who have an account with any forum. As a regular over at www.rpgrevolution.com (well, when I say regular I mean I visit it quite a lot, i'm not generally a large poster on the forums), i've encountered what I like to call 'Forum Smartarses'.

I'm sure you've all seen it before, the 'confused noob' looking for some guidance, until, unfortunately stumbling into one of these evil-doers known as 'Forum Smartarses.'

A 'Forum Smartarse', or 'FS' for short is my universal description of someone who responds to a kindly request with useless jargon, insults, or any kind of 'smartarse behaviour'. An example of this would be -

Chewbacca66 says: Hello, i'm generally new to this forum, but, whilst making my new RPG with RPG Maker VX I have encountered a problem [...] I would greatly appreciate any help. The scripts and add-ons i'm using are [...] If these are in any way causing the problem, it would be helpful if someone could mention this. Thank you.

FSKING says: You're an utter and total noob, anyone could get this, you just need to move the scripts around, loser. Maybe you should read the post guidlines before posting, noob.

This is just a simple idea, 'FSKING' here could be using a whole range of insults. This is a complete and utterly stupid way to respond to any request. For one, it doesn't help at all, and it seriously just pisses me off when I see it.

However, there's also this problem, when attacked by an FS, the attack-ee will respond with similar FS behaviour.

JUST LEAVE IT. TELL A MODERATOR, FOR GODS SAKE.

It just annoys me!

xxx

Mark VS Twilight 0 comments

Aha, so here comes the first of what promises to be many 'VS Twlights'

I'll start with shouting this to all you crazy, screaming fangirls - the film wasn't bad, but upon further inspection of the actual books, you can seriously realise that they're a load of bollocks. I'll give you something before I destroy your crazy cult, the film was alright, there were soem cool scenes, but, to be perfectly honest the best character in it was Charlie, and that's only because he has a moustache.

So here I go, the first reason why I think Twilight isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Number One - Edward Cullen
Yep, believe it or not, I did just go there. I seriously don't see the fascination with this guy. I'll start with the film - yeah, I will admit, Rob Pattinson was a good choice for him, but primarily because his terrible acting reflected how boring he is in the book. He was a good choice, I guess, he does reflect the 'good looking vampire' thing Meyer's got going in the story, but seriously, in my opinion, Mr. Cullen is quite the creep.

- I'm not entirely sure when sneaking into someones house every night and watching them sleep became such a romantic thing to do. Sure, the whole 'I watched you sleep' thing can be pretty romantic, but when done by a hundred-year old vampire who's body is always in the form of a teenage boy, who has also sneaked in through your window and constantly stares in an almost creepy fashion, it's not quite the same.

- I think it can be established that Robert Pattinson could be the most boring actor in history. Yeah, i'll give you the obvious scenes, the walking out of the car with the shades might be classed as 'oooh nice' but, every other time, he always looks either constipated, or creepy. And i'm almost 100% sure he is completely unable to speak any higher than he does. It doesn't make you seem scary, Ed, you just sound like you have a cold. Roll on number three.

- 'Hold tight spidermonkey'. I'm not even commenting on this, even avid fans of Twilight were quite disgusted with this addition.

- Since when has it been ok to choose a (I quote from reason number one) hundred-year old vampire who's body is always in the form of a teenage boy, who has also sneaked in through your window and constantly stares in an almost creepy fashion over your dad? And not just any dad, i'm talking Charlie Swan here. I'm pretty sure, crazed vampires or not, Charlie could take on James and Victoria. There was cetainly no need to run away with loverboy Edward and upset poor Charlie like that. Shame on you Bella!

So there's 4 pretty poor reasons why I think Edward Cullen isn't all that great. I probably have more, and I will add to them later, but I stick to my beliefs and no amount of flaming/commenting/stabbing will change my mind.

Just you wait till I start on the story. Stephanie Meyer, you watch your back!

xxx

Re-introductions are necessary. 0 comments

Seeing as I introduced myself and then decided to show the entire world my hatred for the 'LIN911' Course at Stirling University with no real reason behind it, I figured out I should just do another introduction to what this blog will probably end up being.

I'm actually one of the non-angriest people you'll ever know, but believe it or not, on a daily basis, things just get me wound up and annoyed, and, me being me, I decide to vent out my frustration by either hammering the drums or complaining about them to people that aren't really bothered.

Now, I know the millions of internet users probably don't care about what I hate, but I feel for my own safety that it's healthy and, probably quite fun to post a series of blogs with the titles 'Mark VS [insert subject here]'. These aren't 'rants' to be specific, they'll end up as screeds of me complaining about how much I hate the 'Twilight Saga', why I think cows are evil or, explaining my reasons why I think the Beatles aren't actually all that awesome.

Although i've just started an English course at university, my sentences are likely to be long, jumbled, my grammar will probably be off and wrong, but I don't really care.

And it's very likely that, when i'm talking about something I hate, i'll give the most vague and stupid reason for it. But, again, I don't care all that much.

I'll keep you posted, loyal fans! (one day I'll say that and I will actually have fans...)

(also, I am open to crazy flaming through comments on my blogs, it's always fun. and if you understand my jokes that, generally are only funny to me or a select few, i'll personally bake you a large cake in the shape of an angel.)

xxx

Mark VS Sociolinguistics 0 comments

Oh...dear...God.

Quoted from 'Sociolinguistics: A Resource Book For Students' -

"Exploring idealogy or metaphor or euphemism are fruitful dimensions of study."

I respond,

"Fuck off."

That is all :)

(seriously, who put me up to ever going to university?)

I guess this means...hello 0 comments

It's probably a given that I'll never be on this but i'll introduce myself anyway just to be friendly -

I'M MARK - saviour of souls, vanquishor of demons - the hidden crime fighting supermachine of Falkirk. I enjoy eating a manner of bizarre foods like bat's wings, pelicans beaks and leg of flamingo. I'm also a super-computer hacker, and my skills are enough to destroy the internet. I enjoy riding my unicycle to my underground bunker in which I create large quantities of mutated, genetically engineered centipedes, who have now developed their own society and law system. Not only that, i'm known to ride a hovercraft to my work (the name of my job cannot be specified at this time due to the The Invention Secrecy Act of 1951). I also have a pet dog called Francis Merryweather Bennet, who has learned to speak in sixteen different languages, and is currently practicing to write in ancient egyptian heiroglyphics.

All that nonsense aside, i'm Mark, i'm 17, I live in Scotland and all I really do is eat, sleep, constantly replay Final Fantasy 7 and wrestle with an ever-changing backstory of a novel i've been writing, (quoted from the LHS Yearbook) literaly since before I was born.

Fear me.