Mark VS Twilight

Aha, so here comes the first of what promises to be many 'VS Twlights'

I'll start with shouting this to all you crazy, screaming fangirls - the film wasn't bad, but upon further inspection of the actual books, you can seriously realise that they're a load of bollocks. I'll give you something before I destroy your crazy cult, the film was alright, there were soem cool scenes, but, to be perfectly honest the best character in it was Charlie, and that's only because he has a moustache.

So here I go, the first reason why I think Twilight isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Number One - Edward Cullen
Yep, believe it or not, I did just go there. I seriously don't see the fascination with this guy. I'll start with the film - yeah, I will admit, Rob Pattinson was a good choice for him, but primarily because his terrible acting reflected how boring he is in the book. He was a good choice, I guess, he does reflect the 'good looking vampire' thing Meyer's got going in the story, but seriously, in my opinion, Mr. Cullen is quite the creep.

- I'm not entirely sure when sneaking into someones house every night and watching them sleep became such a romantic thing to do. Sure, the whole 'I watched you sleep' thing can be pretty romantic, but when done by a hundred-year old vampire who's body is always in the form of a teenage boy, who has also sneaked in through your window and constantly stares in an almost creepy fashion, it's not quite the same.

- I think it can be established that Robert Pattinson could be the most boring actor in history. Yeah, i'll give you the obvious scenes, the walking out of the car with the shades might be classed as 'oooh nice' but, every other time, he always looks either constipated, or creepy. And i'm almost 100% sure he is completely unable to speak any higher than he does. It doesn't make you seem scary, Ed, you just sound like you have a cold. Roll on number three.

- 'Hold tight spidermonkey'. I'm not even commenting on this, even avid fans of Twilight were quite disgusted with this addition.

- Since when has it been ok to choose a (I quote from reason number one) hundred-year old vampire who's body is always in the form of a teenage boy, who has also sneaked in through your window and constantly stares in an almost creepy fashion over your dad? And not just any dad, i'm talking Charlie Swan here. I'm pretty sure, crazed vampires or not, Charlie could take on James and Victoria. There was cetainly no need to run away with loverboy Edward and upset poor Charlie like that. Shame on you Bella!

So there's 4 pretty poor reasons why I think Edward Cullen isn't all that great. I probably have more, and I will add to them later, but I stick to my beliefs and no amount of flaming/commenting/stabbing will change my mind.

Just you wait till I start on the story. Stephanie Meyer, you watch your back!

xxx