Snowflakes & the Disadvantages Of Free Bus Travel 0 comments

First things first, today I woke up (I'm assuming it'll have been the same way for the majority of you as well - maybe except from whoever visited from America [that map is awesome!] - unless you muddled up your IP address to make it seem like you were from America - this hyphen-ridden sentence makes bugger all sense now does it? I could continue but for fear of destroying all that I know and love I am going to stop), done the usual morning pee/etc, looked around as I left the toilet and BAM! It's snowing! Awesome, though I think Kim and I may be the only people who actually like the snow anymore, the amount of 'aaw ffs I cba with the snow' status updates are getting a bit ridiculous. Whatever happened to the snow being the huge happy surprise it was when you woke up? D'you not remember waiting anxiously to see if the school was cold enough to open? Or if it was, the turmoil and strict teachings of the total bitch of a 'I'm going to keep you all in at playtime whilst it's snowing' headteacher? Or even, the good old fashioned snow ball fight? Making forts in the snow? Building snowmen? I think the novelty of snow seems to have completely disappeared since it started a few months ago - yeah, it did cause some problems for some people, but for those that it didn't, WHY DIDN'T YOU ENJOY IT?! Granted, I did bugger all when it was snowing, complained about the ice and generally was far too cold, but that's beside the point. Get outside and make a snowman!

Anyway, to the other point of the title. Free bus travel. I think I've made it apparent to everyone I've got a mild case of epilepsy, but I don't think I've mentioned this yet. That 'mild case of epilepsy' actually entitles me to a nice modified Young Scot Card/Bus Pass thing, that actually lets me on buses for free. Forever, I'm assuming. I hear thunderous applause and complaints, 'why does that make you at a disadvantage Mark?!' I hear them say. I shall tell you now. Imagine this. You get on the early morning bus (the one that's full of people over the age of 90). Now each of these people put THEIR cards on the scanner, which allows them to get free bus travel. Which is fair enough, they're all pretty old and somehow deserve said bus travel - but then, after that huge line of people have boarded the bus, here I come. A random looking boy, who now looks quite uneasy. He puts his own bus card on the scanner, watching the disbelief rise in the eyes of the bus driver, who looks back and forward from card to boy - 'aye right son' he's thinking. Then, the scanner reads 'CARD ACCEPTED' and the bus driver grunts, the boy takes his ticket and turns around - to a completely new bus. The sweet old gran that was offering you Werther's Originals before has developed bloodshot, evil eyes, sharpened teeth, and is staring at you in a sinister and evil fashion. The old men who joked around at the bus stop as a young girl walked past and he tried to wolf whistle and jeer with his old man friends all suddenly get all war vet on you. They pull out 32 caliber revolvers, fully loaded. They look battle-hardened and ready to fight. And you can tell, in this new bus, there is a shared thought. 'He doesn't deserve this free bus travel. We must destroy him.'

Granted, it's slightly less harsh than that, but it also comes with other downsides. There's also the problem of a 'mild case of epilepsy' being a non-visual disability (which is why I got the card in the first place, in case you've just joined us). So, imagine the same scenario, but these people have broken limbs, false legs, pretty real disabilities - and on the bus I happily go, popping my card onto the reader to turn around to millions of false limbs mid-flight, all aimed at my face. I actually find myself trying to act like I have epilepsy. Now, I have no idea what a really bad case of epilepsy looks like, so I have no idea what to do. The result is an awkward looking boy, mocking all those who have real and dangerous disabilities by trying to 'fit in'. Granted, that approach hasn't done me well, so from now on I'm just going to have to put up with the false limbs, revolver wounds and scratches from 90 year old women who share the exact same thought as me - 'I don't really deserve this bus travel, but fuck it, it's pretty damn awesome.'

Looking back on that, I want to clarify that this post is in no way meant to be taken offensively. I just realised the content and hope I haven't offended anyone who has false limbs, a real disability or are over the age of 90.

Next week, the Design Argument!
xxx

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Now playing: Free - All Right Now
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SHOW ME TEH MONEYZ!!!??!?!!! 1 comments

Hmmm, figured I'd try a strange and somewhat wrong/disturbing/apt/mental blog title. I fear it's not as cool as it really looks, though...maybe if it could flash and had some crazy Japanese symbols it'd live to its true potential. And I didn't even realise I'd spelt 'the' wrong, but I'm gonna keep it there 'cause I'm that insane.

Anyway (have you noticed that seems to be a common paragraph-starter of mine?), this week saw the re-beginning (possibly the most awesome phrase I've coined up today, that is) of Uni, which heralds the arrival of a new book list - which, by the way, is quite decent. The Crucible & The Importance of Being Earnest are both there, which is fantastico, though it's a shame about the DAMN PRICE OF THEM ALL (hence the title). I've got to apologise, I really have no idea or solid plan on what this blog's gonna be abou,t so it's probably just going to transcend into a rip-roaring, adjective-flying, parenthesis overload of a post (possibly the second most awesome phrase I've coined up today)...

...actually, I'd prefer to come back with something decent.

I'll be back soon, with content!
xxx

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Now playing: Loverboy - Turn Me Loose
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Fresh Eyes 0 comments

I told you all (whoever you all are) that I wouldn't take years to post another blog! I am here and refreshed and slightly chilly, and I also have the Foals on (more on that soon), and I have decided to grace your eyes with a blog.

Sorry about that, I just thought I'd try and start a blog without using the words hi, hello, yo, wassup, awrite, wassapenin, y'alright, hows it hanging or evening, and instead wrote a jumbled silly looking sentence. Still, it beats me saying something like 'yo whats up muthafucka it's yo suga daddy Mark speakin' to all ma bros and hoes' (sidenote - it took me a second there to distinguish the correct spelling of 'hoes' - what actually is it? I tried 'hos', even 'hose'), which isn't exactly proper or me to say the least.

Anyway, another apology (I'm hardly setting you up for a happy blog here) for this slab of bad news (it's relevant to this post, it wouldn't make sense without it), but your favourite rambling blogger (I like that) had another memory blank yesterday. Which is pretty poor, 'cause I've had another two this year already (I think, something along those lines), which officially means I can't drive till 2011 now. Not that I'm all that bothered, I get by just fine on the train or bus. Anyway, for those of you who don't know, the definition of these memory blanks are, for a couple of minutes I suddenly forget absolutely everything (ish, I can't really remember [duh]). It usually takes a while to get all my memory back, but it's pretty spooky. However (yeah, there's a however involved in what seems like quite a shite thing), there's a small upside to these hiccups.

It might sound slightly odd of me saying that there's an upside of my memory essentially rebooting itself, but there is. It's the odd after effect that it leaves me with (not the potential damage to what I could call my ROM). It's kinda difficult to explain, I tried to tell my dad tonight. Imagine it like this - you suddenly forget everything, and then you go outside. You feel all the feelings that you first feel when you go outside, but they're all heightened, as if you haven't felt them in years, or in your entire life. The warmth, the cold, the stars, it's like you're looking at them all with the naivety of a child (I like that expression!), a clean slate, as if you've never seen them before. It's like everything's new to you. The cold air feels so fresh, and the stars look so bright (I'm using tonight as an example), and the air smells nice. You feel wind against you as if you haven't felt it in a long time, you see places that suddenly remind you of other times that might've slipped out your mind. Essentially, the entire world is put before you, and you are looking upon it with fresh, new eyes. It kinda makes you wonder why you've looked past everything before - for instance, you never really pay attention to the wind, or the cold, but when you feel it as if you haven't felt it in years, it's actually quite beautiful. It's kinda tough to explain without using cheesy adjectives or being really confusing.

So yeah, there's the one upside. The new newness of everything. It was nice and cold tonight and it felt nice to feel it, as weird and odd as that sounds. And as to Foals (I mentioned them earlier, if you've been lost in my new age zen ramble), their slightly odd and electronicky music kinda fitted the mood quite nicely.

Mark, out.
xxx

(afternote - how many brackets have I just used?!)



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Now playing: Foals - Red Socks Pugie
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Mark VS Long Gaps Between Posting 0 comments

Hello all, I'm extremely sorry about the completely unacceptable, hauntingly disappointing and hugely worrying one month gap in posting. To be completely honest with you, I don't actually have any excuse other than just general laziness, I've been without any inspiration/mojo for a wee while and I reckoned that the big come back should be awesome and fireworks should be flying and parades will be marching...I hope. (how much did that sentence not make sense?)

Anyway, January was awesome! Should really mention that considering I was away for all of it, for those of you that don't know, here's the condensed version - MarkvisitKimWarringtionfirstclasstrainjanuary.
Yeah, so the first class train was quite spectacular, reclining chair, tons of legroom, my own table, drinks on the house, suited employees with a range of knowledge in the fields of wine, cigars and cocktails - but unfortunately, there was no FIRST CLASS LOUNGE (that has to be in capital letters, when do you ever hear of a lounge on a train?). Anyway, enough about the train, the rest of January was awesome, met a handful of new people, saw new places, went to the Beatles shop in Liverpool (I got Ringo drumsticks!), got all my clothes covered in dog hair, ate my body weight in pancakes, saw ASDAs of massive proportions, saw the coolest moustache in the world, played the drums!, completed Resident Evil 4, played Fallout 3, was introduced to DOCTORS (more on that later) and, of course, spent time with the lovely Kim Bulmer - well, when I say spent time with I mean lived. So aye, January was braw! I even brought the snow down to England with me! (I probably didn't, but both our arrivals on the scene were almost too coincidental.)

More news, I've recently been introduced to two new TV shows which I think, if you don't/haven't watched, you should get to it straight away. The first, Chuck - it's absolutely awesome! Seriously, watch it if you haven't, John Casey is a legend. The second, and I hesitate when I say this, is one of the prime candidates for daytime TV champ - Doctors. Seriously. I did just say that. Anyway, Chuck's opened my eyes to a load of new music, get downloading, or buying! -

In-Flight Safety
Crooked Fingers
Matt Pond PA
Matt & Kim
Datarock
Blitzen Trapper
Band Of Horses
The New Pornographers

- they're all pretty awesome. Also, new bands this year that I've (eventually) come across are Them Crooked Vultures, Vampire Weekend, 30H!3, Frightened Rabbit, and, I went back to my roots and downloaded the new HIM album, which, surprisingly was pretty good. And the new Lostprophets album was pretty so-so on first listen, but it might be better the second time round. And I downloaded Robbie Williams' new album as well but I'm yet to listen to it.

So aye, just a cheeky wee update, I promise I won't wait another month till the next post! Pinkies!

Mark, out.
xxx

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Now playing: In-Flight Safety - Model Homes
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