A Winter Wonderland

Oh-My-Actual-God. I actually think it might be the coldest it's ever been ever tonight. I walked outside and the juices that are in there with your brain froze over, along with my blood, my saliva and my ears. In effect, I have actually become a huge and gargantuan iceberg whilst going to and from Stirling tonight. (It's actually only really really cold, and I haven't frozen over or anything. It did grab your attention though.)

Anyways, while I was walking back from the train station tonight, I realised, Larbert is a pretty minging place in Winter. I mean, I was strolling through the precinct all cheery with my Xmas music on when suddenly, the asthmatic-dog-exhaust-piped-cars suddenly barged into the car park as quick as the hooded people chanting 'Sephiroth' got to the Northern Cave in FFVII. And my headphones are pretty loud and I still heard them. Then, after that, I walked past Chillies to find a few 'neebers' throwing donner meat at each other exclaiming 'wur havin a fuckin mental food fight n aw that pish wi this shitey food aye?', which was both entertaining and somewhat disturbing. And then, as if that just wasn't enough, there was a pram with a baby in it. On its own. Outside a pub. You heard me right. I'm assuming the mum or dad had just took a stroll inside to get a drink, a fag, watch the X Factor, play some darts, deal some drugs, start a bar brawl or sing a horrendous rendition of Neil Diamond, and decided that the baby shouldn't be involved. For one, it's like, minus one hundred and forty degrees and there's this poor baby outside the pub cooing happily/shivering. I hope that parent is ready to embrace a nice chunk of ice when he/she eventually leaves/gets flung out said pub. Can you say that? Yeah, why not.

Also, you know what really pisses me off? When people in buses play music on their phones. WHAT IS THE POINT? Usually, you see a cheeky wee set of earphones over their football top as well. And it's always the same people! Not meaning to stereotype here (well, I am), but it's always that guy (usually on his own) with the black canvas jacket, the golden hoop, the fag balancing on the ear, and the painfully white shoes, which are tapping happily along next to a half empty bottle of buckfast, or god help us all, lambrini. Or, it's the group of, lets say thirteen? year old girls with the exact same physical traits as our previously described friends, except these girls all sound like grown men and shout everything the say. Probably because their music is so goddamn loud. And it's crap music too, it's not even decent dance. No one wants to hear it. I will applaud when someone plays their music on a bus and 'Don't Stop Believing' or 'Stairway to Heaven' comes on.

Mark, out.
xxx